Blogs > Lighten Up with Cynthia

40-year-old Cynthia Frary of Painesville signed up for Lighten Up for a simple reason: To save her life. After suffering a heart attack, Frary's doctor told her that if she didn't lose weight, it was a death sentence. She got serious after that and she's on her way to a healthy life.

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Today's weigh in

So on the way to weighing in I thought about all of the different options that I could do to make myself lighter on the scale.  I though I could have shaved my legs, cut my hair, cut my nails, wore lighter clothes, not eaten this morning or drank for that matter.  You get the picture!  Anyway I did try to wear light clothes, but other than that I did none of the others.  Every little bit does count though.  I want to celebrate my losses so far to date of 21 pounds.  I wanted more, however I am not going to dwell on that!  I am hear to tell you that I am ready for the fight.  Bring it!  I will do this no matter how long this takes.  This month I plan on trying new tricks to hopefully get even better results in the next few months.  I have to say as I get lighter I am feeling so different.  You may wonder how different you can feel after 21 pounds.....In my case I am moving betting,  I am able to tie my shoes better, even stay walking longer.  So yes I will celebrate this loss!  I am also very proud of myself for not overindulging on the cruise and vacation that I was on for a month! All things are possible. xo

Bye the way to all my fellow lighten up friends,  You can do this!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Monday Movie Nights

I have a facebook page for the dog park.  I organize different events for the people who come up to the park.  It is quite fun and very social.  I love it!  It is also a good way to stay away from food, since no food is aloud in the park.(food aggressive dogs)  Last night I got together with some of the people for our Monday movie night.  I really look forward to this.  I feel movies are a bit of a escape away from ones problems.  I also really like the comradery.  Some times after the movie we go to a restaurant to eat.  Thankfully this week we did not.  But if we had I already had saved enough calories threw out the day for a grilled chicken salad or veggie snack of some sort.  I have to admit the one big thing about going to the movies is the great snacks they have to offer.  Yes the prices are outrageous, however when you walk in and you smell the aroma of that special movie pop corn it makes your mouth water.  I  had planned ahead for this!  I brought some fruit in my purse.  Shhhhh don't tell on me.  lol.  So while my friends snacked away on there great smelling popcorn I ate crunchy apples.  I know its not quite the same, but it made me feel like I was not being deprived.  This seems to be a common theme in my life.  I don't want to miss out on anything.   After the movie last night, I felt quite happy with myself for not giving in.  This by the way was my first time at movie night since I started this journey.  As you already know I had been on vacation for half of this contest. It is hard to believe we are going on week eight.  The time sure does fly.  All things are possible. xo 

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Negative Nelly

Negative Nelly reared her ugly head today!  I felt very overwhelmed.  I did not even want to get moving today.  I slept extra long and did no exercise.  I did watch what I ate though.  Can you believe that I am still tired after lounging around all day doing next to nothing.  I need to get myself kicked into overdrive here.  We are down to one week from today for the next way in.  This is no time to let my guard down.  I did not even do the usual going to the dog park today.  The sky was gloomy just like my mood.  I am not sure why I get into these moods.  I tend to be very positive for the most part.  I just didn't feel it today.  Now that we are in the very late evening hours I feel even more mad at myself for the letting the day slip idly by.  I think tomorrow I need some spiritual up lifting.  Sunday is just the day for such a task.  I think a swim might also help the mood.  I will let you know how I kick Negative Nelly to the curb!  All things are possible! xo

Friday, March 23, 2012

Tired

I have to say that when I am tired, it seems like the time I am most likely to give in to temptation.  I have had several different nights this week, that I have been tired, running late, and not having had any dinner.  I wanted to give in!  A little here a little there!  What will it hurt?  I guess I just have to think that when I want to cheat I am not cheating anyone else but myself.  I was thinking today wouldn't it be something if every pound I took off added an extra day to my life!  I have to put it in these terms to myself.  That is what I face with already having had this heart attack by the time I am 40.  They (who ever they are) say that you have to hit rock bottom in order to change.  I definitely hit rock bottom and then some!  Its frightening the path that I was headed down.  I could still head down that road if I am not careful.  I have to repeat to myself I am a addict especially to sweets.  If I have one bite that bite will turn into one more and so on.  I can't let down my guard for a minute. For whatever reason sugar especially with chocolate gives me a feeling of fulfillment.  I feel really good as I am eating this junk and as I have said before after it's all gone I feel really guilty.  One week from tomorrow I will be weighting in for the third time during this process.  I will actually see how the other contestants are doing.  I want to hit things hard this week, but also have to remind myself I am not on the Biggest Loser!  Slow and steady wins the race.  All things are possible:) xo

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Bar Food

I went out to a bar slash restaurant with my friends for St. Patrick's Day.  They wanted to go to somewhere that had corn beef and cabbage and some fun.  Mind you I have not eaten in a bar since before I started this new way of life. I figured okay I know by now what I should avoid and am getting better at ordering.  I looked the menu over and they had so many good things on there that I have never tried before, such as fried brownie, fried waffle cones with powdered sugar and much more.  Okay I won't be getting that I though.  There were eight of us who went out and so I knew already some big temptations would be coming to the table, this is the time I need to man up.  Alchohol and soda are not my downfall thank goodness.  As a matter of fact I don't drink any alcohol, soda, coffee, or tea.  I have not done so since I was maybe twenty two.  So all the hoopla over green beer and free shot's did not bother me at all.  I decided I would order some salsa and plain chips for appetizers, and go with a salad and grilled chicken for my main entree.  I figured this way I could munch, talk and have a great time without feeling at all deprived.  The chips and salsa came and I just thought they were really good since I have not had them for a very long time.  That is until I got to the bottom of the chip basket and I saw what appeared to be left over grease.  Well apparently they make there own chips and deep fry them.  Not so good there!  My dinner came later and the salad had major cheese on it and so did the chicken breast.  I guess I am not that good at ordering in bars after all.  I didn't think to say no cheese on salad or the side of grilled chicken.  Mind you everything was excellent tasting, but I am sure not so good with the fat and calories.  I couldn't pick the small cheese bits out of the salad so I ate it and I really needed some protein so I did eat the chicken even though I question if that was grilled like they had said it was.  It looked grilled, but had grease residue on the plate.  Okay by this point I decided I was not very happy with the choices that I had made, and was quite annoyed with myself.  Dessert was ordered and what should they bring but loads of deep fried brownies.  Just keep talking and don't look at them.  That's what I kept telling myself.  After we had our dessert we decided to grab our dogs and go to the dog park since it was such a beautiful day.  To burn extra calories I decided I was going to pick up every cigarette and stick I could find in the whole park.  I did this for a good half hour or so and wanted to do more, but could not.  I was sorry when I got home I did that because my back is so bad I couldn't straighten up.  I sometimes think my life is very comedic.  I went to bed early telling myself tomorrow is a new day and all things are possible.xo

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Jeans

I have been away from home almost a month.  I know I did pretty well while I was gone with diet and as much exercise as I could do for my different conditions.  When I got home this week I went to a few friends houses to catch up on how my vacation went.  These friends know about my diet journey and have been super supportive.  I really appreciate them so much for that!  I ended up going to three different places in the last couple of days.  Two out of the three houses I visited said that they saw a noticeable change in my weight.  Of course that made me very happy.  Since I have not been able to weight in, and the group weigh in is at the end of the month.  Last night I was so hungry because I was busy and missed dinner, however I did not do my regular old Cynthia thing, by eating late at night etc.  I just went to bed.  By the way I have been on a much stricter schedule than before I started.  Before I would go to bed at any given time between 1 and 5 and wake up at any time between 1 and 3.  So part of this is very good because I now have more energy am getting more things done in the day.  I just think overall it is more healthy for my body.  I still feel tired during the day, and have given in here and there to some naps, but have been pretty good about the sleep thing.  So today I awoke to the thought of I think I will try on some jeans that did not fit well a couple months ago.  Mind you I could get them zipped up, but they were much to tight to wear out in public.  To make a long story short I am thinking these particular jeans are going to fit like a charm now.  Hmm not so!  They are still tight and I am a bit miffed!  Okay so why can't I see a bigger difference in my jeans?  I know that I need to have patience but what if my friends were just being nice.  What if I messed up on something on the cruise.  I did have a lot of nuts and did have some sugar free desserts.  Maybe I didn't lose anything.  So I am sitting here right now with these very tight jeans on and stewing about the situation.  I am not happy with myself.  I am later this afternoon going out with some friends for St. Patrick's day and I am not even going to let anything fattening enter my mind.  I will do this.  All things are possible. xo

Friday, March 16, 2012

Reappearing Cookies


I am now back home, but I wanted to talk about the road trip back home.  I found that I did well on the road, however we tend to stay at a particular brand of hotel when we travel and every time I would check in there would be cookies on the counter or in the room itself.  The first night I was so tired and hungry that I actually held a packet of cookies in my hand and tried to justify eating them.  I kept going back and forth in my mind.  I could eat them and skip dinner.  Their here so I would not have to go out to dinner, you get the picture.  You will be happy to know that I did not eat the cookies the first night.  I ended up giving them to my family.  So what should happen they bring back more cookies from the front desk counter.  By this time my will power is fading fast and I decide to go to bed.  The next morning I get in the car and what should I find but the cookies I gave my family last night staring at me.  I seem not to be able to shake these cookies.  I consider throwing them away however my family will ask what happened to there cookies.  Finally they eat them which is a huge relief so I can stop thinking about them.  Sure enough that night check in to another hotel more cookies on the front desk.  I get past them and think I am in the clear.  I get my key in the door and open it and what is the first thing I see waiting for us is cookies laid out.  This proceeded for three days.  I managed to avoid eating them but for some reason it was such a struggle.  I failed to mention that there were goodie bags for the road when you check out and they had blue berry muffins inside and some more healthy choices as well which I am thankful for.  I must say that now the muffins were also calling my name.  Okay so what can I say I am addicted to sugar and junk food.  I thought the cravings would lessen and they have, but when it's right in my face it can be very difficult.  I also managed to avoid all muffins, but one.  At 260 calories a piece it would not have been a good thing to choose.  There was a time when a could eat two or three of these muffins and be content.  However I am proud to say that I am trying to stay clear of such things.  I just have to think positive.  All things are possible for those who believe.xo

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Amazing!

As you already know I am on a cruise for vacation.  I was sitting by the pool today in a deck chair in the shade thinking about this weight loss process.  I was also thinking that I can't wait for the day that I can get out of these deck chairs with out them sticking to me.  I was mulling over the usual things such as why can't I get into this or that blah blah blah when I noticed a woman with a prosthetic leg.  Now I take notice of these things mostly because my mother is disabled and she to is missing a leg, however she can not walk.  That is not the first thing I noticed about this woman though.  She had a big smile on her face and was just radiant.  She just seemed so happy.  Mind you she was maybe about 60 and not glamorous, but just so full of joy and happiness.  I ended up talking to her and it turns out she just lost her leg this past year and had to go threw a kidney transplant.  She also told me her mom had just passed away two weeks ago.  I though how in the world is she still so joy full when all of this happed to her.  She told me how happy she was to be alive.  As I left her I thought about my own problems and how minimal they actually are compared to the struggle this woman has gone threw.  How Amazing!  Once again God sends me inspirations not to give up hope, but to keep going.  All things are possible:) xo

Friday, March 9, 2012

The Clean Plate Club!

Today I was in the dinning room of the ship and I had a though of how much we waste.  I know growing up I belonged to the clean plate club.  I would hear the usual about starving people and do you know how much that food cost.  I have come to the realization that I have stuck to that rule for life.  I think I should abandon this rule by trying to cut down on what I order or what I put on my plate in the first place.  On this ship there are people from all over the world that work in the dinning rooms and the kitchens.  Some of them are from very poor countries and probably have never seen so much food in their life.  They must wonder why we waste so much.  I have a extreme guilt over this and study their faces as they clean the tables.  What must be running threw there heads?  What must they think of me this obese American?  Hard to know for sure, however I hope the next trip I take I will be weighting much less. All things are possible. xo

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Chocolate Cake

I just wanted to check in from vacations and say I actually avoided eating chocolate cake today.  That was so hard for me because it was black forest chocolate cake.  My mouth just watered looking at it.  I made it threw though.  I have to say I am very anxious to see if I have lost any weight.  I keep thinking what if I didn't?  Okay I have to think positive.  I can do this.  More gym time tomorrow.  Sad thing is that I can not do as much as I used to or as much as I though I could in my mind.  I thought I was going on this vacation and just workout and really kick it with this diet and exercise.  I have to realize that I am not on the biggest loser.  lol.  All things are possible for those who believe:)xo

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Beautiful Girl!

Okay I just wanted to share this with my blog family.  As you already know I am on vacation on a cruise.  I am on a ship with over 8,000 people.  The first day I board the ship I am sitting down to eat and the most beautiful girl I have ever seen walks by me.  She has long hair, tan skin, perfect body etc.....It's easy for me to appreciate her beauty, not so easy to not be jealous.  At this point I am eating a turkey sandwich and staying well within my limits of my diet.  However when she walks by I just want to not eat any more.  I am thinking to myself its like having a super model by you when you are trying to........well you get the picture.  So I think with this many people on board that I will not run into her again.  God sure does have a sense of humor and is answering my prayers.  Every time I even came close to eating something outside of my diet here comes Ms. Super model.  Has she ever known a fat day in her life.  How can anyone be so perfect?  If only.....Anyway to make a long story short she helped me to stick with my diet by continually showing up everywhere.  I am doing well with sticking to my diet and exercise, however yesterday I over did it and got to hot. I was pretty whipped.  I slept for a really long time and finally got moving again today.  All things are possible.xo

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Very Hard Day!

Today the ship I am on is at sea.  I am having a very good time overall, however today I have been so tired.  I am also fighting with some depression issues today about my body.  I sat by the pool quite sometime today and just people watched.  I need all the prayers I can get, because normally I am very positive.  I am not feeling that way today because of some of the things I have witnessed.  I am tired today of fighting the disgusting looks I get when I eat something from some people, I am also tired of people whispering about me like I am not there.  I know these people are not worth my effort, but I am a people pleaser by nature and feel somehow I must compensate for my downfalls.  My family says they are very proud of me and the way I have eaten and kept more busy than usual.  I have to admit, since I can't weigh in here I am really afraid that I am not doing well.  I know that I am eating right, however when you don't have something to gage it with, it can be difficult.  I just want to be healthy and normal. Please God help me on my journey and thank you for all the people that are rooting for me.xo